Hamilton Cocktail Duels: History is Happenin’ in Manhattans
Spatulove episode 101 is all about the smash hit Broadway musical, Hamilton. And what better way to celebrate Hamilton than with dueling Manhattans – the greatest cocktail in the world! (Ok that’s certainly debatable but it’s a song lyric from Hamilton so just go with it). Each duel parallels the three duels in show, and while they follow the 10 Duel Commandments, we follow the 10 Drink Commandments to determine the winner. Raise a glass to freedom!
ROUND 1
Duel 1: John Laurens vs. General Charles Lee
Why Did They Duel? The word on the street is that General Lee is talking some mess about General George Washington. Hamilton isn’t about to stand for that, but Washington explicitly tells him not to do anything. Hamilton can’t disobey Washington but he also can’t let it slide, so he asks his buddy Laurens to challenge Lee to a duel. Lee accepts, and they duel the day before Christmas, 1778. Laurens wounds Lee with the first shot, but it’s a minor injury. They debate going again but decide they are both satisfied.
The 10 Drink Commandments
The Winner?
Historically: John Laurens
Drinks: Technically, based on how we rated each drink, and against ALL odds, Lee should win. But we can’t have that. WE MAKE THE RULES. Laurens wins! Suck it, Lee!
Duel 2: George Eacker vs. Philip Hamilton
Why Did They Duel? George Eacker gives a speech and makes a few digs on Alexander Hamilton. Several months later, Philip and his friend Richard Price publicly call out Eacker at a theater in Manhattan. Words are exchanged, Eacker calls them “damned rascals,” and the two friends challenge Eacker to a duel. Price and Eacker duel first; neither is injured. Philip and Eacker duel the following day, November 23rd, 1801. Eacker fatally wounds Philip. He is 19 years old.
The 10 Drink Commandments
The Winner?
Historically: George Eacker
Drinks: Philip Hamilton
Duel 3: Alexander Hamilton vs. Aaron Burr
Why Did They Duel? Burr and Hamilton are …
SILENCE! A MESSAGE FROM THE KING. A MESSAGE FROM THE KING! A MESSAGE FROM THE KIIIIIIIIING!!!!! You really thought the King wasn’t going to get all up in this business? Bloody hell.
The 10 Drink Commandments
Oceans rise, empires fall, but the King will be here through it all. Forever, and ever, and ever, and ever and everrrrrrrrrr.
Can we get back to dueling? Please!
Duel 3: Alexander Hamilton vs. Aaron Burr
Why Did They Duel? Burr and Hamilton are frenemies from the jump. Their politics are different. Their values are different. They duel in the political arena for years so it’s probably only inevitable that they eventually duel for reals. The event that pushes it over the edge is Burr losing the New York Governor’s race, for which Hamilton had campaigned against him. Burr challenges Hamilton to a duel. On July 11, 1804 they duel on the same grounds on which Philip Hamilton was fatally shot. Hamilton is also fatally wounded, and dies the following day.
The 10 Drink Commandments
The Winner?
Historically: Aaron Burr
Drinks: Alexander Hamilton
ROUND 2
It’s down to John Laurens, Philip Hamilton, and Alexander Hamilton. Philip is the clear front runner, so Laurens and A. Hamm battle it out. But it’s really no contest. As much as we love John Laurens the man, we do not love his drink. Listen to the outtakes if you need more proof that Laurens cannot win.
ROUND 3
So it comes down to this: father vs. son. By design, their drinks are almost identical. It’s close but it’s also clear: Philip Hamilton is the winner!! Apparently we just like younger men and a rubbed rim. Snicker, tee-hee.
As promised, and we’re just giving the people what they are clamoring for, our additional ideas:
- Shrimpandgrits, we get the job done
- Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr-ger?
- American’s favorite fighting french fries! Lafayette!
- You see that was my wife you decided to PHOOOOoooo
- History is happenin’ in Manhattans
- Angelica food cake
- Diametrically opposed, toast
- 10 dollar, founding fava beans
- Say no to fish, no no, say no to fish
- Croque Monsieur Lafayette sandwichs
- Monti-lemon-cello
- You will never be satis-fried chicken
- This congress does not speak for me-atloaf
- A message from the king cake
- You’ll be baby back ribs
- Soufflés rise, soufflés fall
- Here comes the General tso chicken
- We’re reliable with the ladyfingers
- When are these colonies gonna rise up…side down pineapple cake